Marriage

I used to clean my wedding ring regularly. Take it to the jeweller's and get it polished and from time to time, have the jeweller use his ring mandrel to make sure the ring is perfectly round.

All the symbolism associated with the wedding have been drummed into my head since I was a child.

The eternity of a the circle, the one-ness of the couple, the completeness of life - these were some reasons why I had spent time and energy keeping the wedding ring in near-mint condition.

Over the years, I have stopped cleaning the ring, or getting it polished or ensuring the roundness of the circle was perfect.

The countless dishes I have washed have tarnished the golden glow that once reflected the glow in my heart the day I said those two magic words.

The bits of soap that need to be scrubbed off are still there (I will get to this someday).

No, its not that I don't care about the marriage. It's just that the ring in its present condition represents marriage perfectly.

The dents, the tarnish, the loss of the golden glitter - these ARE the real symbols of marriage.  The difficult moments we have gone through, the arguments and bickering, the periods of "leave me alone" are part of a real marriage that includes the together moments shared, the joys of watching the children grow, quiet times spent.

That's what a marriage is really about - in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health - not the "happily ever after" we remember from our childhood stories.

I still remember the words I said that day - I will love you and honor you, all the days of my life.

And despite the kinks and dents in married life, I intend to keep those vows.